Unconditional Love… Tossing Glitter

Janell, a retired racer, picked me by resting her head on my shoulder when I happened to pass by a group of rescued greyhounds. Never have I experienced gratitude at this level. Her quiet grace and loving disposition was combined with such an unassuming elegance. She won not only our hearts, but enraptured everyone she came in contact with. I recall our joy as the neighbors gathered to watch her run from yard to yard, leaping over hedges with such ease that she seemed to be lifted by wings. Then our complete devastation when she passed away so quickly from cancer after bringing her home. Janell’s time with us was short, but unforgettable…  Precious memories – Florida, 1998

A Girl And Her Uncles… Toss Glitter

Amanda came to visit Jeff and I in Washington DC for the 1st time when she was 4 years old. She and her sister Jennifer walked into the room and it was obvious within seconds how much they adored their Uncle Jeff. Amanda was this wide-eyed bundle of inquisitive, outspoken, shy, bold, hesitant, eager, bossy, passionate little girl. Both girls were very curious about this new man who had just recently come to live with their beloved uncle, but within a few days I was able to win them over. They thought I was funny, played cool music and loved the way I cut and blew out their hair.

Ma-Maw’s Picnic Basket… Tossing Glitter

I’ve also seen her sheets drying in the sun on a clothesline and the reddish green rhubarb growing in her back yard. Always trying to convince me that I really would love her rhubarb pie, if I’d only taste it once.

Pride… Tossing Glitter

Pride doesn’t have an expiration date. Pride has been a constant goal in my life. Always reaching for authenticity. Pride is about living every day with integrity and honesty. The integrity asserted by accepting myself and letting go of the voices which had made me desperate for some kind of a “normal” life?

More than myself I’ve watched my husband grow. There is a certain amount of freedom that comes from being a hairdresser. For years Jeff worked with military defense, hiding became common and for a while I had the name of Melissa, his wife no one ever met. Today he smiles that beautiful smile when introducing his husband.

Full Circle Moments… Tossing Glitter

It’s hard to believe that Jeff and I are celebrating twenty -nine years as life partners; five married. Equally surreal was realizing it had been nineteen years since we had made a return visit together to the city where we met.
In 1983 I moved to Washington DC. in hope of creating a new life. My path to self-acceptance, happiness, authenticity. So much has changed in thirty-five years. Standing on the corner of 14th and F street, one block from the Treasury Department and less than two blocks from the White House. Julius Garfinckel & Co. would become my second home for seven years. My clientele grew quickly in the salon that was housed inside that grand department store. It’s now divided into office space and a restaurant.

My first apartment, The Windsor House, seems unchanged. But as I watched families with strollers pass I remembered a very naïve young man maneuver between hookers and drug dealers on this very street; on my way home. The corner deli had a sign over the register that read NO PIMPING.
The fountain at Dupont Circle where I would sit and watch artists painting, elderly men play chess, homeless sit and sun themselves. I’d stop on the way to the fountain and buy a salt bagel with cream cheese. I’d never heard of a bagel and the rock salt with the crème cheese seemed so decadent. I’d watch gay couples laugh and hold hands and I’d wonder where my place was in all of this? The voices of my past still chanting “You’ll never be happy being you. They are incapable of commitment and a productive life.” All the old haunts brought back our past. The plague that was killing gay men which was dubbed the ‘Gay Cancer.’ My first march holding my boyfriend’s hand in public for the first time. Personal growth, extreme loss and terrifying fear. Independence, discovery, pride, love.
Jeff and I had forgotten how beautiful the Lincoln Memorial was at night. Three teenage boys were next to us and Jeff asked if they’d mind taking our picture. He showed them the old one that we were trying to recreate from when we’d first met twenty- nine years before. In unison the boys exclaimed “How cool and congrats!” The voices in our present sounded different than those I’d listened to in my past.

Which brings me to Cher. People often have asked what I was thinking or feeling when I’ve met Cher though the years. My answer always the same. I become that ten –year- old boy sitting on his grandmother’s sofa, her high-heels dangling from his feet, while holding the Tiger Beat magazine he’d discovered her in. This meeting however proved different. As Cher took my hands and kissed my cheek she asked about our poodles and congratulated Jeff and I on our anniversary. Cher, in person; takes your breath away. Her exotic beauty is as present as it was when I met her for the first time in 1982. Her youthful energy is timeless and you felt it the moment entering that room. As she turned to Jeff and took his hands I thought about this full circle moment. That mysterious image I’d discovered in Tiger Beat that somehow, in a ten-year-olds mind projected freedom and strength. That image became a poster on the same boy’s bedroom wall a few years later. Giving him the strength to push back against his father’s anger and tyrannizing ways. As Cher kissed Jeff’s cheek he flashed that beautiful smile and beamed with pride over the beautiful weekend he surprised me with. I’m reminded of the magic created through a shared life of truth, love and commitment. Our full circle moment.

Eternal Glitter…

George Michael’s beautiful voice, image, songs of faith, pain, freedom, and love. 1987, the height of the AIDS epidemic in America, I was living in Washington DC trying to become comfortable with my orientation while watching everyone die around me. The strength, joy and comfort George Michael’s music and video’s brought during that time period are unforgettable. You’re flying with the angels this morning beautiful man… Thank you…

We Learn From Remembering The Past…

Some told stories about the lives of their sons and brothers and boyfriends, each represented by a three- by six-foot panel of fabric—a patch about the size of a twin bed . . . The kind you might lie on, side by side with a childhood friend. The kind you might dream on while listening to music that told you there was a world beyond your four walls. The kind you might sit on while deciding you were going to live your life with truth and openness and not give a damn about what anyone else thought…
-Eddie Casson, Farm Story – Coming Out Of Indiana

Tossing Glitter in Indiana…

Launching Farm Story in my home state of Indiana was one of the most gratifying events of my life. I’ve never felt more lifted up in love and celebration and I want to thank everyone who supported Farm Story.

Pike County Petersburg Library, Bokeh Lounge,
Marge’s Hallmark, Pike Central Alumni Celebrating the Arts, 
Mystique Winery & Vineyard, and Ange Humphrey host of Tristate ABC’s Lifestyles news segment. Your warmth and openness to helping me share my story made me feel so relaxed and welcome.

The support and gifts of glitter candles, t-shirts, wine, flowers from both family and friends was overwhelming. Special thanks to Angie Floyd Mills your gift of Mark’s original Divine Miss M album, that he and I listened to over and over in our youth, will be cherished for the rest of my life.

So many of you shared your personal stories – I hear your voice and feel your pain. We all have a Farm Story in our lives to share!

Thank you Indiana for tossing beautiful glitter with me!

Tossing Glitter!!!

Farm Story finds a home on the shelf of GreenLight bookstore in Fort Green, Brooklyn!

Toss Glitter!!!