As hard as that was for you in your younger life–it has helped make you the strong man you are today. I don’t think in any way that makes it any easier for you, but I really admire your courage–and by sharing your story hopefully you can help someone else that may be going through something similar. Love you Eddie xoxo

No, honey- you are not- never were. All the ones that loved you from your beginning of time- saw you-felt you -knew you and most of all loved you. Fathers were different back then– mine included. NOTHING was ever good enough- all the glory had to be in his parade.
the great thing about us- is that we have our own parade now- we have everyone important to us in it and celebrating us and themselves!
We came out of it knowing how NOT to treat others– Which I am very thankful for !!!!! Love you’ always!

Beautifully said, Kathy! It is a hard thing to overcome when you feel unloved by the ones you love the most…❤️ xo

It has been so many years since I had seen you. But you don’t know how much your writing means to me. Thank you for writing your story. I look forward to reading more.

Well said, Mary.

I believe we all want that unconditional love of our parents. Sometimes they just don’t know how to give it. They have a picture of who they want us to be and we don’t always conform to that image. Eddie you have a strong, loving and giving heart. I think he would be proud of who you are. You have such a gift for writing and can bring words to life! That is a rare gift, keep writing and we will keep reading! Love you

Your support and love means the world to me Terenda… Am blessed to have known amazing women throughout my entire life…. Your one of them and I’m grateful…. Thank you!!!! Love You!!! xoxoxo

Beautiful, heartfelt!

this is such a beautiful thing you’re doing my friend. the one thing i believe that heals us, is being able to say what hurts us. your openness is inspiring. X…M

I’m glad you’ve grown to love yourself for the person we all love and adore. As I read your story, I flashed back to seeing your father at church and the picture taken for the church directory, and feeling saddened at what a gorgeous, little blonde-headed, blue-eyed little boy had to go through. One of your other friends commented that what you went through only made you stronger. I believe that, but I also believe it served a specific purpose in this universe. Although you stood “invisible,” your roots grew, and you became very planted, solid, strong – and now you have become a source of strength and inspiration to others who also are made to feel “invisible”. I work in a very small-minded town. Just this week, a friend of mine was terminated from his employment because he stood up for himself – asked that the name calling “Twinkle Toes,” or “Tinkerbell,” etc. , and rude comments/innuendos about his sexuality stop.. The person inflicting the harassment was promoted. My friend was placed on a 3-day suspension so he could “cool off.” Instead, he handed in his resignation. He is also tired of being invisible. It’s amazing that someone like my friend, who is so accomplished – came from Broadway in NY, was a back up dancer for Michael Jackson (yes, MJ!!!), and has a masters in physical therapy is still made to feel invisible. He is broken, and my heart ached as he told me what happened. I am doing what I can to make sure his voice is heard from the legal perspective. Thank you for being you. . . XOXO

It makes me sad that you had such a rough start in life. I am sorry that someone who should have been your biggest fan bullied you .. I would hug that little boy if I could.

Ah Eddie! From the first time I read this I had tears and they arrived once again. We all want to be seen and this piece is very real to me. I know this is written about your father but it could be for almost anyone who we have in our lives that we long to love us. You are loved, seen and heard by me. .

To have thought that I knew you during that time, was with you every week, sometimes several times a week, and me not be able to see that pain. Either those were times that you were happy, when you were with your friends and away from the one who caused you so much anguish, you hid it well or, as being children, we didn’t notice. Children don’t know how to express those deep, inner, complicated thoughts to others, especially to an adult and it’s the one who is doing the damage that effected you so deep down to the core, to carry it with you always. And to need to tell that person how they are making you feel, your Father, the one who is expected to build your self esteem up, praise your accomplishments, help you when you need it, defend you, the one who needs to encourage you the most, teach you about life and tell you he loves you and always will…..no matter what. Hopefully this will be cathartic for you in that knowing this could help others. I hope that your hard work, in many ways, physically and mentally, will get to those who need it the most. I don’t even pretend to have known him well, as a matter of fact, I don’t believe he ever spoke a word to me directly. I remember not liking the way he treated you. It was obvious to me as a child that he didn’t treat you as my Father treated me with love and I do remember being at your home one later afternoon and the hateful look he gave you when he was opening the side door, into your utility room. He hadn’t been there all day, I guess he was coming home from work. I thought he had given you that look just because you had company, because I was there. Maybe part of it was. Maybe he thought you should have been playing with a boy instead of a girl.. I wish I had the gift of expressing my thoughts in words the way you do. This would be worded totally different. Keep up the great work love. Anxiously awaiting your next blog. I’m glad you are trying to heal yourself though writing about it and helping others. I feel this is helping me, just knowing we all have painful, hurtful events that effect our entire lives…. just some are worse than others. I love you. Then, now and always. XOXO <3

Thank you Kathy…. For so many things…. A friendship that has endured…. Loyalty…. Being one of my special girls…..
As a boy I developed the ability to put things into compartments…. I wanted to be the perfect boy…. Thank you for being there ……
And thank you for supporting Farm Stories….
Love you….. xoxo

Eddie – your stories are beautiful, poignant, powerful, painful, hilarious, compelling and filled with the kind of authentic truth that forces one to take a look in the mirror and ask, “Who am I, anyway?” (A Chorus Line). Each of us have our own “Farm Stories”; stories that God has written but that only we can tell. They are gifts to be shared. Telling our stories not only helps us to know God and to know ourselves, but telling our stories also helps other people gain the courage and strength to read and tell their own stories. Our past can give somebody else a future. I know that yours has and will. Thank you for sharing your Farm Stories with me. xoxo – P
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Eddie
Well said. Thank you for the reminder to love unconditionally! Often as a parent it can be difficult admist the responsibility of raising children and meeting all the expectations that life brings. But it is really about the unconditional love!
Thank you for sharing!
Looking forward to more!

Beautiful, heart breaking, sad, encouraging. You tell wonderful stories and that shows how you have grown from the pain. Keep it up, Eddie!