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Voices…
“You are never to be the Catwoman again!”
I hear voices…
Stand up straight.
Walk with your feet apart.
Chew with your mouth closed.
Your breathing makes me sick.
You’re stupid.
You’ll never be happy being you.
A real man doesn’t cry.
I hear voices…
Why are you always playing with girls? Why can’t you dribble a basketball? Why do you talk like that? You can’t be Catwoman, you’re a boy.
I hear voices…
Homosexuality is a sin. It’s the worst thing you can be. I can take anything but that. You can change. They are incapable of commitment. It’s an agenda. This is God’s punishment.
I hear voices…
When she asked me to tell her a ‘Farm Story’ for the first time I felt uncomfortable at best. I wasn’t accustomed sharing myself. Adjusting the cape around her neck and reaching for my hair cutting scissors, I wondered what does she want to hear? Who does she expect me to be? Our eyes met in the mirror she smiled.
With each Farm Story my voice became clearer. Slowly I stopped looking for others to define who I was. I stopped expecting others to show me what my purpose and life should look like. Those suffocating feelings of isolation and invisibility began to lift with each story. There is nothing worse than being invisible.
As I slowly began to embrace my voice and celebrate what was unique in me, my voice became stronger. The need to adjust my voice to please others evaporated. The desire to be what someone else thought I needed to be vanished. Uncovering my journey and revealing the truth of my narrative became easier with each Farm Story. Embracing my authentic self opened the door for a newfound sense of worth. And with that worth came happiness. And with that happiness came love. Though I still sometimes hear voices, they have become distant, fainter, and less urgent. Instead, I hear a louder voice- the voice of my own joy in my life…
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beautiful!
Rhonda- Thank you for sitting in my chair all those years and helping me find my voice! Your support means so much to me!!! xoxo
I love reading your writing. It’s heart wrenching and uplifting and all so beautiful.
Rachel- Your reading and support of Farm Stories means so much to me!!! Thank you!!!
xoxo
So happy for you and all of us who love and care so much about you that you have been able to find your voice……and how eloquent a voice it is. you CAN be Cat Woman if that is who you are and want to be…..but I want to be Cat Woman to…so we will go thru this life prowling and purring together. Beautiful Eddie AKA King of the Cat Women. I will chase those nasty mice who put you down with you EVERY time!! Your forever supporter and friend. LOVE FARM STORIES!!! Love and purrs!!!! XOXO <3
Kathy- We can Catwoman together!!! Sounds like a plan. Your support has and will always mean so much to me. Your in my heart…
xoxo
thank you for shining a light on your life. we need to hear this!!!
LJB- Thank you for your loving support!!! xoxo
Sadly and gratefully I understand. It’s not until we say “F@#K IT this is my life not yours”, that we find our wings. Not until then can we truly fly and become who we have always been all along. I love your courage, and the voice you are giving to all of us “Farm Boys” who have escaped the mold formed by our parents/society. We all head voices, only those brave enough to listen truly grow.
Grant- Having the strength to push through to the other side- Finding our voice and then using it No matter where we travel in life we’ll always be the eternal ‘Farm Boy’ and that makes me smile. Your support and voice mean so much to me- Thank You!!!
Beautifully stated. As already stated, “heart wrenching.” Keep writing.
Donna- Thank you for your continued support for my Farm Stories and my dream of having my book published!!! Truly, means so much to me!!!
Keep writing Eddie!
Terenda- Thank you for your loving support of Farm Stories and for being my ‘Lady In Red’ xoxo
Moved to tears…first of sadness for all you endured, then of joy for all that you are. It breaks my heart to realize the depth of suffering you experienced …. Your courage to survive and be the authentic you is to be honored. Never stop writing!!
Love you bunches. xoxo
Janet- Am overwhelmed that my voice can touch you!!! Thank you for your support and voice for Farm Stories. It truly means so very much to me!!! xoxoxo
I look forward to the day I see a signed picture saying, “To Eddie Casson, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar:”
Your writing is so very inspiring! You are paying it forward in your own beautiful way!
Kat- I’ve nearly met the ‘Divine Julie Newmar’ a few times and didn’t happen happen. Maybe in the near future! Who ever dreamed someday I’d be able to embrace the ‘REAL’ me!!! Thank you for all the loving support- Your own beautiful and inspiring voice!!! Love you, xoxo
As always you pull the reader in with your words. Love your stories. So happy for you. xoxo
Kim- Thank you for you beautiful support for Farm Stories!!! It truly means so much to me!!! xoxo
Yet another moving entry that speaks volumes! Thank you, dear Eddie!!
Michael- Your reading, supporting and adding your own voice to Farm Stories means so much to me!!! Thank you!!! xo
…how fabulous it is when we find out real voice. Congratulations on this post Eddie as with all the other entries to this blog you are sure inspire many more. Thank you for bring your voice to the world. You are loved. xoxo b
Date: February 6, 2015 at 4:24:02 PM EST
From: “Julie Newmar”
Subject: RE: A book, partially inspired by you!
To: “‘Kathy Cockerham'”
Dear Eddie,
You are very, very, very special.
In admission — you are everyone’s story.
Julie Newmar
Not ever day you get a note from the ‘Divine’ Julie Newmar!!!
Tossing Glitter to Julie and Kat!!! xoxo
Bruce- Your voice is always clear and beautiful!!! Thank you for sharing and supporting!!! Love you!!! xoxo
You make me feel with your words, Eddie. So well done❤
Claire- Thank you for reading and adding your voice to Farm Stories!!! xo
Eddie, I hope you only listen to our loving voices now….Love you. xoxo
Carla- Your support and love mean so much to me!!! Thank you!!! xoxo